For years now starlets such as Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and Lindsay Lohan have been able to hide behind their fame when it comes to their propensity for breaking the law. Their “teflon” status reminds me of mafia dons that seem to break the law but the authorities never get anything to stick.

Lindsay “The Nose” Lohan, named for her ability to snort copious amounts of drugs in a simple drive around the block is the latest starlet to make national news. She has been fairly safe for a while now hiding in the shadows of the more notorious Paris “The Hotel” Hilton (named not for the family business, but rather for her constant vacancy upstairs and rotating guest list) and Nicole “Bones” Richie (named, of course, for the uncanny ability to see all of her bones despite her skin). Her only mention came in the form of an advertisement on a billboard for a driving school in The Hotel’s spoof jail video along with a brief mention of Bones (who now being pregnant, is eating for one)… perhaps a visible connection to the starlet underworld.

The Nose’s most recent mention in the media is concerning her attempted hit on the family of her underboss captain. She was caught chasing her captain’s mother with her signature cocaine in her pocket. Authorities, after arresting her, were able to tie her to an alias that had eluded them for while now, “50/50″ coined for her preferred 50/50 blood/alcohol mixture. This latest information has allowed the connection of The Nose to previous DUI incidents where the anonymous “50/50″ left her calling card, a wrecked Mercedes.

It is refreshing to see the Police cleaning up the streets and prosecuting these Starlet Mafia Bosses. Unknown numbers of mafia members (mostly preteen girls) are scattered in sleeper cells communicating only via text messages. The capture of these Bosses has enabled police to decode messages between cells such as “CUL8R BFF” and “TTFN GF” now understood now to mean “See you later, best friend forever” and “Ta Ta for now, girlfriend”. This information will hopefully lead to interception of more messages.

Quite possibly the biggest reward of these recent arrests is that the members of the mafia may get the message and realize that being in the starlet mafia makes you run the risk of looking trashy in a televised mug shot, and therefore reduce the number of followers.